Parent Effectiveness Training
“World-leading, science-backed parent education workshops
for happy, healthy families in Hong Kong, Macau and the Philippines.”
Parenting is the hardest job in the world, yet it doesn’t come with a manual! Most parenting books and courses promote a one-size-fits-all approach that simply doesn’t work for every parent and every child. We’ve been there; we get it.
You’re unique. Your child's unique. What your family deserves is a unique parenting approach tailored to support healthy connection and communication that meets the needs of every family member.
The brainchild of award-winning psychologist and three-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, Dr. Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) is a proven parent education program that has successfully improved parent-child relationships in more than 50 countries for almost 60 years. The skills-based workshops are designed to respectfully apply to different cultures, ages and personal values. What unites parents is a genuine commitment to connect and communicate with their children with respect and authority.
I found this approach to be so helpful, I signed up to become an instructor! P.E.T. has really changed my relationship with my son, increased my patience, and given me more confidence as a father. Taking it together with my wife amplified all the benefits between us as well.
Dr. Brent Horner
Clinical Psychologist, Hong Kong/ USA
Happy to hear that the lessons are now available in Cantonese! Their course provides us with the tools needed to perform our roles as guardians without sacrificing our relationships with our kids. I enjoyed the lessons because we discussed solutions to our daily hassles with the instructor and other mums!
His mother and I were involved in the Parent Effectiveness Training at our church and the thing they taught us which is so central and significant is that you should never demean you child.
William H. Gates Sr.
Father of Microsoft founder Bill Gates
I always assumed that raising kids would naturally be full of conflicts, disagreements and hurt feelings. With P.E.T., I learned that parenting does not have to be this way if we could use the skills taught to us. With a teen and a tween in the house, I am grateful to have P.E.T. as a resource and my instructor as a guide!
Mary Grace Gonzales
This course has brought a sincere and lasting peace to our family while allowing us to stay true to all our values. Because P.E.T. is a skill-based course, it is rational, practical and easy to share. I wish P.E.T. could come in a welcome package of the 'parenting journey'.
Active Listening is a skill that the you can apply to reflect back what the child has expressed to let him know you are listening. It allows you to check back you understanding of their meaning (facts and feelings).
Active Listening is a restatement of the child’s communication, both the words and the accompanying feelings, i.e., nonverbal cues—tone of voice, facial expression, body posture. It enables both you and the child to understand the actual experience the child is having.
Active Listening encourages the child to explore their problem more deeply and facilitate the child’s problem-solving process.
In P.E.T., an I-Message is a form of an assertive communication of the parent.
I-Messages are about the feelings, beliefs and values of the parent expressed as a sentence beginning with the word “I”, and is contrasted with a “you-message”, which often begins with the word “you” and focuses on the child.
They are also used to take ownership for parent’s feelings rather than implying that they are caused by the child. An example of this would be to say: “When you leave your toys on the floor, I’m scared I might trip and get hurt.” rather than: “Pick up the toys you left the toys on the floor!“
The Behavior Window is the framework which informs the parent what communication skills should be used — Active Listening or I-Messages or No-Lose Conflict Resolution, among others.
The concept of “problem ownership” and its relationship to acceptance and non-acceptance of a child’s behavior is the central integrating component of the P.E.T. course.
Roadblocks obstruct the flow of communication between the parent and child. These are the traditional and almost automatic responses of parents to children when they are faced with problem situations. Roadblocks communicate a desire to change the child and unacceptance of the way the child is at the moment.
Roadblocks often cause the child to stop talking and feel resentment. These 12 Roadblocks are statements or messages which tend to be ordering, warning, moralizing, advising, arguing, judging, praising, name calling, analyzing, reassuring, probing or sarcastic.
“Shifting Gears” is a skill that allows the parent to Active Listen to the child after they have sent an I-Message.
The likelihood that the child will hear the parent and change their behavior is much greater if they Active Listen to the child’s problem. This in turn lowers the child’s “emotional temperature” and helps the child to problem solve.
“Let’s work together for a solution that meets your needs and meets my needs. Both of us will win, no one will be a resentful loser.” — No Lose conflict resolution method is also called Method III in P.E.T.
It is based on a very different set of assumptions than the power-based methods of solving conflicts between parent and child such as the authoritative method (parent wins or Method I) and permissive method (child wins or Method II).
In Method III, the needs of the parent and child are considered to be of equal importance. The problem is approached from a needs basis not on solutions. Power is never used except in situations which involve safety and security of the child/parent.
The main advantage of the Method III approach is that it enhances rather than harms the relationship. No one loses; instead both win. Feelings of resentment and unfairness are thus eliminated from problem solving and replaced by mutual respect and concern for the needs of both parent and child.
Premiere Parenting Course
P.E.T. is a world-leading, parenting course which is scientific and proven since 1962.
Focus on family relationships, a family-centric approach
Happiness and peace that comes from satisfying the needs of both parents and children.
Network of like-minded parents which provide mutual support and rich resource of parental intelligence.