How you and your family will benefit from P.E.T


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“How to Build Connection with Your Child?”
Free P.E.T. Information Session

August 31, 2018 (Friday) from 12:30pm to 2:00pm

Venue: Eaton Club, 5/F Champion Tower, 3 Garden Road, Central

Time Left:

It’s limited seating! Hurry up


Here you can review some statistics about P.E.T. worldwide.

P.E.T. countries
P.E.T. Instructors globally
Year P.E.T. started


Active Listening

Active Listening is a skill that the you can apply to reflect back what the child has expressed to let him know you are listening. It allows you to check back you understanding of their meaning (facts and feelings). Active Listening is a restatement of the child’s communication, both the words and the accompanying feelings, i.e., nonverbal cues—tone of voice, facial expression, body posture. It enables both you and the child to understand the actual experience the child is having. Active Listening encourages the child to explore their problem more deeply and facilitate the child’s problem-solving process.


In P.E.T., an I-Message is a form of an assertive communication of the parent. I-Messages are about the feelings, beliefs and values of the parent expressed as a sentence beginning with the word “I”, and is contrasted with a “you-message”, which often begins with the word “you” and focuses on the child. They are also used to take ownership for parent’s feelings rather than implying that they are caused by the child. An example of this would be to say: “When you leave your toys on the floor, I’m scared I might trip and get hurt.” rather than: “Pick up the toys you left the toys on the floor!“

Behavior Window

The Behavior Window is the framework which informs the parent what communication skills should be used — Active Listening or I-Messages or No-Lose Conflict Resolution, among others. The concept of “problem ownership” and its relationship to acceptance and non-acceptance of a child’s behavior is the central integrating component of the P.E.T. course.

12 Roadblocks

Roadblocks obstruct the flow of communication between the parent and child. These are the traditional and almost automatic responses of parents to children when they are faced with problem situations. Roadblocks communicate a desire to change the child and unacceptance of the way the child is at the moment. Roadblocks often cause the child to stop talking and feel resentment. These 12 Roadblocks are statements or messages which tend to be ordering, warning, moralizing, advising, arguing, judging, praising, name calling, analyzing, reassuring, probing or sarcastic.

Shifting Gears

“Shifting Gears” is a skill that allows the parent to Active Listen to the child after they have sent an I-Message. The likelihood that the child will hear the parent and change their behavior is much greater if they Active Listen to the child’s problem. This in turn lowers the child’s “emotional temperature” and helps the child to problem solve.

No-Lose Conflict Resolution

“Let’s work together for a solution that meets your needs and meets my needs. Both of us will win, no one will be a resentful loser.” — No Lose conflict resolution method is also called Method III in P.E.T. It is based on a very different set of assumptions than the power-based methods of solving conflicts between parent and child such as the authoritative method (parent wins or Method I) and permissive method (child wins or Method II). In Method III, the needs of the parent and child are considered to be of equal importance. The problem is approached from a needs basis not on solutions. Power is never used except in situations which involve safety and security of the child/parent. The main advantage of the Method III approach is that it enhances rather than harms the relationship. No one loses; instead both win. Feelings of resentment and unfairness are thus eliminated from problem solving and replaced by mutual respect and concern for the needs of both parent and child.


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